The author I’m referring to is Andrew Cohen.  He is the founder of EnlightenNext (an online magazine and so much more…), and is credited with redefining the “best practice” for spiritual enlightenment for the 21st century.  The book I was reading a review about is Living Enlightenment: A Call for Evolution Beyond Ego.  And the comment from the review I found so thought provoking was “…If you’ve “got it”, you will know Cohen is speaking Truth. If you are in “seeking mode” and are not willing to shift, I predict you will just get frustrated and the words will just sound like a bunch of noise….”  The reviewer is David Kamnitzer (review the rest of his review here).  The reason it stuck with me is because “I got it.”  I mean, I actually got his reference.

So, there is a bit of an “ego-ic” response to that, right? (Rhetorical …stay with me a little longer.)  Right, I acknowledge this.  But, there is also a celebration coming from deeper within, from my true Self, basking in the light of the acknowledgement it is receiving by me as I step into my spiritual practices more and more.  This must be called “joy.”

The joy is coming from my connecting with sources of support along my spiritual journey that are in alignment with my path, in tune with my inner song.  This includes my yoga teacher training course at Sattva Yoga Center in Dearborn, MI.  As well as sharing time with a trusted spiritual leader,  another trusted professional well-versed in psychology and close coaching colleagues.  Most recently this joy has come from reading a book, “The Congruent Life: Following the Inward Path to Fulfilling Work and Inspired Leadership” by C. Michael Thompson.  I was searching for a resource for a coaching client and happened upon this book, became so intrigued when searching through it that I was compelled to buy it for myself.  Now, anyone who knows a “professional coach” knows that books are like crack, so you may judge that I was just getting a fix and this wasn’t a meaningful selection.  Au contraire!  I justify my ”meaningful selection” by informing you that I recently took on my life’s most challenging leadership role to-date, that of becoming the President of the Professional Coaches Association of Michigan (PCAM).  This book seemed like the perfect resource to support me as I take on this new role, and it is.

While I was not conscious of it, this is also the book I’ve been looking for all of my life.  Yes, that does sound a bit melodramatic, but I can justify this too.  Through this book, I have found my voice.  Better said, I have found my voice mirrored back to me . . . or my voice has found me.  I am a Seeker.  For those less familiar with archetypes, one definition of this archetype is “Amidst artifacts and shadows, the Seeker examines clues he hopes will further his quest for the one Truth. He believes that there is an absolute answer and he has dedicated his life to its discovery.” (Source: Archetype Storytelling Cards)  The Seeker is the one that answers the call and the call is the signal that starts the Hero’s journey.  This book affirms me.

I’ve always felt that I have been searching for the “truth”; it has always felt like a driving force within me, dare I now acknowledge it as a calling.   At a very young age, trying to understand the purpose of suffering, of “God” (if even such thing existed), of faith, of man (human beings), of war, of dreaming, and so on.  Born at the tail end of the “boomer” generation, you have to know, I am a product of the sixties: the Vietnam War on television, the peace-seekers everywhere, civil rights - desegregation at my school and integration in my neighborhood, astronauts in space, man on the moon, assassinations of Kennedy, King and X.  My hero’s have been killed for sharing their wisdom and asking us to join them, but I didn’t realize that when they became my hero’s.  This book affirms my voice.

As I develop in my spirituality, my union with universal source, in glimpse’s I come to experience the world from another place.  It is a place where Ultimate Reality is known through that experience and wisdom is developed.  There comes a knowing.

A knowing that my work in the world, being a professional coach, is serving my life’s calling.  Simply put, as I assist others as they progress through their life’s journey of self-development and spiritual growth, I pick up things that allow me to progress in the same way. I deepen my experience, my knowing, my joy.  I trust that I’m helping others in the same way.  The following quote is attributed to HH the Dalai Lama and speaks deeply into my calling.  Be Well, Kathy

“As we are all human beings living on earth among countless other human beings, our happiness is intimately connected to that of others.  It is hard to imagine personal happiness detached or separate from the happiness of others.  For it is certain that if we aspire to happiness, we must be deeply concerned about the happiness of all humankind.”

Today was a challenging day.  I woke-up to find I had failed to turn on my alarm clock after I’d set it for just the right time to wake-up to meet my morning obligations.  There is not too much is worse than starting out behind the eight ball, right?  I dealt with my guilt and then began plugging away at my day, and I may say, making head-way when I found a Facebook email from a friend about our fun times together during the July 4th holiday weekend.  Well, you can guess what happened next, I followed that bright shiney object for at least an hour.  But, I say that’s okay because I’m very grateful for the inspiration it has brought my way today.  To make the best use of it, I would like to share with you in hopes that you get value out of it too.

For those of you who resonate with “cancer survivor” for whatever reason, you might find this blog as tremendously helpful as I do: Let the Light Fall by Macrina.  I was drawn in by the sub-title, Keep Death Daily Before Your Eyes; it reminds me of similar messages from books I’ve read on Buddhism (A Gradual Awakening by Stephen Levine and The Tibetan Book of Death and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche).  In particular, I liked the poem the author references.  Not only do I say this because it refers to cancer as a wake-up call, as I did in my last blog , but it reminds me to use this one life of mine for a greater purpose, to take risk and step through fear…something I need reminding of regularly.

Another blog I ran across today and found myself taken by is this one: Choosing to Share my Private Journey – A Transparent Update by Mari Smith.  This author discusses an issue I’ve been debating for some time, and if you are a fellow blogger, then likely you have too.  It is helpful to ‘hear’ another person say, “it’s okay,” right?  Support from a fellow spirit in the universe.  It doesn’t hurt that this one is also making a living from being a wise social media expert.  Thanks to my friend and colleague, Cornelia Shipley for tweeting about this author today.

I’ll close with this last reference to a blog I ran across as I came to my blogpage to write this blog: Overcome Writer’s Block with Plinky Prompts.  I haven’t joined yet as I was already prepared, dare I say ‘inspired,’ to write when I opened my blog, but I certainly will use this going forward to get myself motivated.  Which reminds me of one last reference for you before I end this blog.  This is an excellent resource for yogi’s and yogini’s out there in need of writing inspiration:  The Journey from the Center to the Page: Yoga Philosophies and Practices as Muse for Authentic Writing by Jeff Davis.  I’ve been reading it randomly, finding just the right inspiration as I need it, however, I am sensing the call to read it cover to cover soon. 

I hope you find this blog and referenced resources useful.  I welcome your comments.  Be Well, Kathy

I captured this glorious vision of poppies this morning.  Leaving the house to walk our dogs, I felt a call to bring my camera along, and so I obliged.  I’ve come to know this tug and have learned not to question it, just to follow it.  It certainly hasn’t always been that way.  So much has changed for me in this past year.

It is time to share my recent breast cancer experience with the world, as who I am now is informed by this experience.  I am a breast cancer survivor since June 2009.  It has been and continues to be a transformative experience for me.  As I stated in a speech I gave at the Relay for Life event in Warren, MI last month, I share my story with the intention of putting voice to one journey in honor of the thousands that exist which we will never know.  What follows is the content of the speech I gave at that event, which is really just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. 

First, a little history.  I feel I’ve been on a journey to understand this “being human” since I was born.  My mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia before I was born.  My parents were told not to have another child due to mental and physical medical concerns for my mother, but you know how that goes.  At an early age I knew my mother was different, expressing unusual beliefs and extreme emotions from depression to rage, sometimes manifesting in physical abuse to myself or my siblings.  Somehow I knew it wasn’t my fault, but I suffered anyway.  So I struggled as a child to understand what made my mother different and tried to find ways to ease her suffering and thereby my own. 

Fast forward to five years ago when I awoke to my life’s calling.  I feel pulled to support my fellow human beings along their life journey toward awakening themselves and living with purpose.  This, after 20 years of service to various corporations as a human resource professional and manager. I am now a Career and Life Coach, which gives me the opportunity to not only challenge and support others on their journey, but myself as well.

That said, at the beginning of last year I began down a challenging path on my life journey.  By choice, I started a rigorous personal training program, began receiving spiritual direction from not one but two teachers, and I hired a business consultant to assist me in developing a business plan around providing a space or center for people to experience activities in support of personal growth and spiritual unfolding.  So, I was doing this work, along side my coaching business work, minding my own business (so to speak) when I received my breast cancer diagnosis in June.  Hel-lo!  And I thought I was awake before; this was the ultimate wake-up call.

When I was asked to give this survivor speech, I wondered to myself, “What do I have to say as a ‘survivor’?”  Relatively speaking, I felt my cancer experience didn’t feel like it qualified me as a survivor.  My diagnosis was “Stage 0, ductal carcinoma in-situ and extensive lobular carcinoma in-situ” in my left breast.  This means the cancer had not learned how to grow outside of the membrane of the duct or lobe, so there was no risk for it matastisizing at this time. My ductal cancer appeared to me as a spec of lint on my mammogram film.   The lobular carcinoma didn’t technically meet the definition of cancer, but pre-cancer.  The results of my test for having the known genetic mutation for breast cancer had come back negative.  That said, my family history with breast cancer was substantial enough for me and my breast surgeon to stand up and pay due attention. 

My breast surgeon sat me down and told me my many options for treatment including various combinations of surgery, radiation and tamoxofin (a form of chemotherapy).  I got to wrestle with the multitude of questions, potential side effects and consequences, as every survivor does.  Still, I consider myself blessed, twice.  Once, with time -  time to consider my options, get a second opinion, consult with other health care providers, talk with other breast cancer survivors and weigh it all with the support from my husband, family and friends.  Secondly, I was blessed with choice – choice that one of the options I was given was to have nipple-sparing bi-lateral mastectomy with reconstruction, requiring no follow-up radiation or chemotherapy.  Just surgery.

Just surgery!  This was not an easy decision; it never is.  I had been living with the intention of never having to be in the hospital or have surgery, ever.  My story around this is that immediately after I was born a month premature I had to have a blood transfusion and was kept in the hospital for a month to ensure my survival; this imbedded in my being a deep fear of pain and hospitals.  I also had fears from knowing about other family member battles with breast and an ovarian cancer, including radiation and chemotherapy treatment.  As each survivor does, I had to choose what I felt I could fight and win with. 

Just surgery.  I rationalized, there are worse things I could have to face, such as losing and living without my eyes, my arms or my legs.  I was not presently at risk of dying from cancer, so why introduce treatment(s) that had such a risk?  Living without my god-given breasts would not have to be a hardship. Of course, I had to acknowledge there was an inherent risk of death from complications with such invasive surgery.  So, in the end, it all comes down to this; looking into the face of our own mortality in the mirror, accepting it if we can bare it and then living fully into it.  The ultimate wake-up call.

My challenging work on personal development from a young age, since becoming a life coach, but especially since the beginning of last year, was beginning to make some sense.  Upon reflection, how fortuitous was it that I’d been getting into the best physical shape I’d been in in years, in preparation for this?  How synchronicitous was it that I’d been deeply contemplating such spiritual concepts as human death and dying and spiritual immortality, in preparation for this?

Complications with post-operative nausea and various pain medications caused me to ask for relief by stopping all pain medication my first night of surgery.  I came to understand what is meant by “dark night of the soul.”  That night I had to face my greatest fears; fear of pain, fear that pain would be so overwhelming it would kill me, fear of death.  I practiced mantra, meditation and deep breathing through my pain, and passed through the pain.  I came to feel completely safe and gently held in spiritual communion with universal and unconditional love.  These are just words, labels, of an experience that cannot really be expressed.  I realize now that I have been trying to cultivate the seed of faith in my life, all of my life.  My cancer experience nourished that seed, which has grown and blossomed.  I am now harvesting the fruits of deep faith and spiritual union in my life.  I’m looking toward the end of this year and I see this experience fueling the manifestation of the center for personal growth and spiritual unfolding that I feel called to bring into the world.

As I close, I’d like to share that I believe everyone is a survivor, or at least a warrior, of breast cancer.  Either you’ve had it, as one in every four women have battled with it, or you are a man who has battled with it, or you’ve been tested positive for the breast cancer gene and have to battle with a difficult choice for action or no action, or you’ve been a care-giver for someone who has battled with it, or you have witnessed someone’s battle with it, or you’ve championed the cause and battled with it by walking, running and/or fund-raising.  And so on. 

I want to thank everyone who contributes in any way to support cancer survivors and warriors.  I appreciate your “listening” to my story and hope that it provides some understanding and inspiration about battling with and surviving breast cancer.  It isn’t something anyone wishes for.  It is an ultimate wake-up call that provides an opportunity to awaken and live life on purpose.  Don’t wait for the call!

“In April, we cannot see sunflowers in France, so we might say the sunflowers do not exist. But the local farmers have already planted thousands of seeds, and when they look at the bare hills, they may be able to see the sunflowers already. The sunflowers are there. They lack only the conditions of sun, heat, rain and July. Just because we cannot see them does not mean that they do not exist.”  ~~Thich Nhat Hanh

This message above from Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh reminded me of the notion of living into our purpose.  Easily said and challenging to achieve, especially when we may not understand who we are and what our purpose is.   We are the sunflower and our purpose is to become the sunflower; whether or not we can see it or believe it, it is true.  To quote from the lyrics of Chris Smither’s song “I am the Ride,” “it’s just like gravity I said, it’s not a product of my head, but nonetheless commands attention.”  So, I’m striving to get out of my own way to simply allow myself to become the unique sunflower that I am.  I have discovered a few tools that are assisting me along my journey and I thought I’d share them with you.

One ancient tool I’ve been exploring is the Enneagram personality typing system, having been introduced to it during my coach training program in fall 2005.  Recently I finally was able to identify my type, a Six (“the loyal person”); it took me 3+ years.  The purpose of most personality typing systems is to help you to understand the certain box you are living within so that you can select methods of working with yourself based on your type to help you grow beyond the current boundaries of your box.  The Enneagram system resonated with me for two reasons: first, it looks beyond the “behaviors” of your way of being to the deeper motivation beneath the behaviors and second, due to the work of Helen Palmer and her way of using the narrative tradition for sharing and understanding of the system.  The first step is awareness as they say, next is ownership.  The latter one I’m struggling with…more to come with that journey in other blogs.

Another ancient tool is the Labyrinth.  It is a design that has been found as early as 3,500 B.C. on coins from the island of Crete and more “recently” found in medival churches (~1,200 A.D.) in Europe such as the Chartres Cathedral just outside of Paris, France.  The design though has been found in many cultures such as in the Celtic and Hopi traditions.  It is very different than the maze, which is created for the purpose of confusion with many paths with dead-ends and cul-de-sacs and ultimately only one of those paths lead to a separate exit.  On the other hand, the labyrinth is a singular circuitous path that when followed travels around a center in which you ultimately find yourself and from which you follow the same path outward to find yourself at the begining of the path again.  A friend introduced me to the labyrinth in 2006 and my first walk was the prairie grass labyrinth of Toby Evan’s in Sibley, MO (if you are interested, you can read a published article of my experience here).  Finding this path was an answer to a deep desire I had to bring mindfulness into my life after experiencing a walking meditative walk at a seven-day silence retreat.  It allows for me to practice a mindfulness meditation allowing for self-reflection, self-discovery, self-healing and transformation.   There will be more about my labyrinth journey’s in future blog’s.

A more recent tool is called the Wheel of Life.  I was introduced to this one through my coach training program through New Ventures West.  It was very helpful for me to become aware of my level of satisfaction in core areas of my life. I use it infrequently to check-in with myself, both of an indication of how things may have changed but also as an indication of my perception of things as well. We’re all influence by many filters, such as overall mood and momentary emotions that can cause us to color our perceptions. A nice segue into my next subject.

You can track your level of positivity online confidentially and for free at www.PositivityRatio.com (click on “Take the Test”).  Why bother?  It’s creator, Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, has recently published the book “Positivity” of ground breaking research which shares what she found.  Specifically, that if people maintain a genuine and heartfelt focus of attention and experience on positivity over negativity to a ratio of 3 to 1, they summit a tipping point and gain access to a resource of life benefits. Positivity builds psychological strengths, good mental health, social connections and physical health.  I was involved in a meditation study in fall 2005 by Dr. Fredrickson when she was a working in the Psychology Department at the University of Michigan.  By tracking myself in this way for six weeks, I began to understand there was a distinction between the way I was evaluating what I was experience versus what I was allowing myself to experience in the first place; an important part of my journey thus far.

Well, I’ve shared a great deal here and as it is getting late, I’ll end this entry now.  As I said, more to come.  Namaste.

Monday, July 23, 2007 - Knowledge
“If we would have new knowledge, we must get a whole world of new questions.” ~Susanne K. Langer

Today’s Affirmation
I consider the questions that lead to greater understanding.

Today’s Meditation
Dear God, We seek real solutions to the challenges we face as individuals and as a society.
Help us create and recognize a new framework for our thinking.
Fill us with Your thoughts and ideas so that we might gain true knowledge.
Transform us and the way we look at our world.
Teach us to think with our hearts wide open.  Amen

Copyright (c) 2007 by Renaissance Unity <http://www.renaissanceunity.org/ > All rights are reserved. Renaissance Unity -11200 E Eleven Mile Rd – Warren, Michigan – 48089 – Telephone (586) 353-2300 – General Email: info@renaissanceunity.org Website:http://www.renaissanceunity.org .

Be Well, Kathy

I’m Kathy Igoe, Integral Coach and Entreprenuer. I provide coaching services for individuals, groups and teams, coaching workshops and events through my business, Integral Life Designs. My passion is to coach individuals to achieve personal enrichment in their career and everyday life. For more information, please visit my website, www.igoecoach.com. Please contact me today for a free one-hour Coaching Consultation. Live Tomorrow’s Dreams Today!